Swish: Maria in the Mourning
Pamela Palmer Mutino
Reviewed by Tina Avon
I read a lot of addiction/recovery books - this is a subject that is
very close to my heart. When I was asked to review Swish:
Maria in the Mourning written by Pamela Palmer Mutino (mother of Maria)
I thought I was going to be reading a moving account of addiction and
recovery. I was only partially right.
This book has felt extremely personal to me. I am very familiar
with both the addiction and the recovery process and I am a believer
that recovery is possible and is a gift. But somehow I rarely expose
myself to addiction stories that don't have a happy ending - however,
there would be no happy ending here.
This is the story of Maria who is a heroin addict, but this is only
part of who she is - she is also bright, intelligent, spirited and is
someone's friend, girlfriend and most importantly daughter.
Maria's mom, Pamela Palmer Mutino wrote Swish: Maria in the Mourning as
a tribute to her daughter, but also as a way to purge herself of all
the raw emotions, thoughts and fears that she herself has felt through
her daughter's addiction, recovery attempts and ultimately her death.
Addiction is a family affair - it touches everyone involved.
While we always tend to focus on the addict, we can easily forget the
other people it affects. In this book, we get to feel what Pamela
is feeling, we get to read her thoughts, we get to live the hell that
she is living. It is Pamela's journey towards her own recovery-
towards getting to a place where she can heal and look towards the
future again.
This book was extremely difficult to read - the raw emotion, the pain
and the suffering that this mother is going through is almost too
difficult to bear - but at the same time, I felt an intimate connection
with this mother, who was willing to show us her pain, who was willing
to share with us her wonderful memories and more importantly, wanted to
make sure that we got the true picture of who Maria really was.
This book is incredibly intimate and incredibly sad and there is no
happy ending - however, this story shows us the strength of the human
spirit and the love that a mother has for her child - no matter what.
I am so touched that Pamela shared her story.